Day #20: It's all fun and games... Until a Wild Card gets HoHSo Ragan finally left the house, and it's time to go out and do an HoH. I always feel great before the HoH competitions, but today I'm feeling even better than usual. Maybe it's my turn to
squash all these bitches to steal the HoH key and make some shizz happen.
Porsche: "Welcome HG's to your next competition. Aaron, as out going HoH, you are ineligible to compete.
This competition is called amazement. You must complete a jigsaw puzzle in the fastest time possible. The completed puzzle is a maze, so you must then draw the correct, completed path through the maze, and slam the buzzer once you have done so. The housemate who does this in the fastest time will become the new HoH."
Ugh. I'm so sick of all these HoH competitions that are practically races. I want an endurance competition so ridiculously bad. Like seriously, give me something I can completely screw everyone in. I mean come on, Sophie and Aisleyne in an Endurance comp. Good luck girls, those titantic mounds on your chest will probably be your downfall!
So we walk out to the backyard, and everyone has a puzzle stand like in Survivor. Each of us steps up to it, and Porsche gives us a countdown--
Porsche: "3....2.....1... GO!"
So I dump all the puzzle pieces out, and immediately my mind thinks of one of those swirly illusion things because the puzzle was black and white. I felt more confused than real life Porsche staring at a map.
So a couple minutes into the comp, I'm beginning to piece the edges together, but I'm having a fair amount of difficulty with it. It's like I'm missing a piece or something, then I realize that half my pieces fell on the ground and I felt dumber than a Lane Eleburg. So not winning the HoH this week guys!
So by the time, I finished my puzzle I guestimated 9 minutes had run off the clock. I knew I needed to hurry because Aisleyne, Dino, and Drew were all on the maze. Everyone else followed pretty closely behind, except Sophie, Sarah, and Jen. For some odd reason, Jen decided to jump in the pool right when the HoH competition started, and then proceeded to take off her bra, and show her nipples on national television. Momma Johnson must be so proud! In the meantime, Dogface was pulling food out of her boobs and eating it. She looked like this guy:
Oh yea, and Sarah sucks at competitions. I think she thought she was suppose to just stare at the board and whoever can look at it the longest without blinking wins... yeah that's not how endurance comps... nor live ones work Sar Bear. God My alliance sucks.
Anyways! I started off carefully and quickly trying to complete this maze. Aisleyne looked like she was having some major issues with it, but Drew looked like he had a good chance and finishing it, and Dino as well. I just made a deal with Dino, but he was very unresponsive about it. I honestly think he just wants my meat inside of him, which I'm not for, so him winning could be very detrimental to me or the other Sluts in the house. Then we have Drew, the ultimate wild card. Nobody has any idea where his head is at and if he hits that buzzer, absolutely all hell may break lose this week.
*DING DING DING DING DING DING*
Porsche: "Congratulations Drew! With a time of 11:43, you are the new Head of Household!"
This is an absolute train wreck. We cannot win a competition to save our lives, and the same guy who I was going to put up two weeks ago, is now the new Head of Household. I told everyone he was flying under the radar and now he's won two competitions in a row. This is the worst case scenario around, because Drew is smart. PFHMS have been able to cruise for a while now, but after the crap Aisleyne pulled last week, making a last ditch effort to evict Ragan seems suspicious and could cost us a lot in this game.
I'm too frustrated to deal today. I feel like some crazy bitch out of the 1800s just hit me over the head with a frying pan. Probably just momma Johnson, since Jen is just about the only girl in the house I haven't slept with.. spare April
Day #20: Epic Fail
. But as I said in the eviction thread, thank you guys so much for letting me play! 
But I do want to say a personal thank you for working so hard on your DRs. I am very sad that you're out cause it means I won't get to keep reading them.
