Week #8

[Michelle Maradie]

Porsche: April... Congratulations -

Saggy Vag: -HOLD ON A SEC! I TYPOED! NO FAIR!

Porsche: SUCK IT UP, BITCH! APRIL, YOU WIN! THERE! I SAID IT! IT'S OFFICIAL!

Saggy Vag: BUT-

Aaron: SHUT THE F*#@ UP! YOU LOST, GET OVER IT!

Me: *files nails*

April: Oh, by the way, Michelle, I'm putting you up.

Me: *chips nail...awkward pause* Say what?


OK. OK! I knew about this beforehand. I was hoping April would think it out more but I did say that I thought I'd stay and that I wouldn't be upset with her. I'm upset, but I understand why she did what she did. Not that it really matters, Aaron and Snorlax are going to keep me even if Saggy does win the veto and Jizz will be evicted.

I'll be some pissed off if Aaron and Snorlax vote to evict me over Saggy or Jizz. Like, that would be uber assholish of them and really not smart since Saggy and Jizz are definitely going to have votes to win the game.

However, I'm not freaking out, I'm just going to try and win the damn veto and take myself off the block. It's time Miss Michelle got her challenge threat on.

[Michelle Maradie]

OMG and just a quick few comments on Saggy's supposed strategy:

I personally love it. It's unique and fun, idiotic maybe, but if it works, brilliant as all get out. That's all.

[Michelle Maradie]

Um... yea... wtf has crawled up April's ass lately? I feel like she thinks she's being punished because she's not having the easiest week ever as HOH. Sorry baby, easy weeks have come and gone. Time to get your big girl shoes on and take it like a man.

Also, how was I nominated before Snorlax? Oh right, he actually won competitions. If he hadn't, this would so not be the case. Plus, Straight April can't say no to her Straight Men, which is cool, it just tells me where I really stand that she chose to put me up instead of one of them.

Lord I hope I win this veto. I sucked so badly at the last two questions. So badly.

[Michelle Maradie]

I'm really mad at myself. I had a golden opportunity to prove myself in a challenge, and one mistake cost me. I tried to distracted Saggy when we were having our match, but she ended up distracting me with my own distraction. These Brit women are scary smart.

Honestly, if she makes it to the end, she's going to win this game. I never really thought about that before now, because I was never afraid of her making it to the end. Now I am. She's legitimately a threat to win. I believe Snorlax is too but Aaron, April and Jizzy really aren't.

They've played really sloppy games so far. So my goal, if Saggy wins the veto, is to make sure Jizzy leaves, obviously. I believe Aaron and Snorlax will both vote for me to stay. I talked with Saggy and she wouldn't say what she was going to do until after she had won the veto, because her goal right now is to just survive.

Sure, like she hasn't actually thought ahead. Give me a break, that's like saying "Well Michelle, I think you're probably a bigger threat than Jizzy, so I'm going to evict you, but I'm not going to tell you that to your face so I'm going to come up with a partially legit excuse in order to give myself more time."

Only it would be in a really British accent.

[Michelle Maradie]

... Aaron has officially gotten on my nerves. He's being a wishy-washy little fucking bitch again. About THIS vote. Really? Really.

What the hell? Like why is this even an issue. The time for voting with the majority is over, it's now time to put your god damn neck out for your allies. Snorlax has no problem doing this, what is his problem? Waiting for April to make his mind up for him? Apparently Snorlax saying he was keeping me wasn't enough.

Also, Saggy has decided, since I told her the truth about where I stand... partially, that she no longer wants me in the game. You would think that would give Aaron the information he needs to keep me. I told Saggy that I was with Aaron and April and she finds that dangerous. Like, duh.

I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out because I can't believe that I don't feel safe. If I get evicted, Aaron can forget about getting my vote, IF he even makes it to the end. So can April for that matter, she did put me up on the block after all, over both Aaron and Retarded.

Sure, I gave my consent, but that was because I thought for sure that there wouldn't be any reason not to feel like I was going to stay. Now I have one vote to stay, one to leave and one that is presumably undecided.

So not impressed.

[Michelle Maradie]

I Present:

THE BLONDE BRIGADE

[Porsche Briggs]

Lots of blondes this season